Bunnicula

"The enclosed story is true.  It happened in this very town, to me and the family with whom I reside.  I have changed the names of the family in order to protect them, but in all other respects, everything you will read here is factual."

"It's...
Yes?
It's...
What is it, Chester?!
It's a white zucchini!"

The Westing Game

"Sunset Towers faced east and had no towers.  This glittery, glassy apartment house stood alone on the Lake Michigan shore five stories high.  Five empty stories high."

"Six letters were delivered, just six.  Six appointments were made, and one by one, family by family, talk, talk, talk, Barney Northrup led the tours around and about Sunset Towers."

"Who were these people, these specially selected tenants?  They were mothers and fathers and children.  A dressmaker, a secretary, an inventor, a doctor, a judge.  And, oh yes, one was a bookie, one was a burglar, one was a bomber, and one was a mistake."

Mudshark

"The Mudshark was cool.  Not because he said he was cool or knew he was or thought it.  Not because he tried or even cared. He just was."

"This is the principal.  Would the custodian please report to the faculty restroom with a plastic shield, a hazardous waste suit and a large container of pepper spray? Also, whoever took erasers out of room two oh two, please refrain from removing erasers from two oh two in the future. Also, refrain from taking erasers from two oh four. Thank you. Oh and the gerbil was seen near the vice principal's office - she said it was "scurry-ing, very ratlike." You should not try to pick it up if it is, indeed a rat. I repeat: Refrain from picking up rats. Thank you."